My husband and I come from very different backgrounds so we both have very different views on family life. My family is very outspoken, obnoxious at times, flighty, large, and disfunctional...His immediate family is small, quiet (with the exception of my sister-in-law - which makes me love her that much more) and they talk almost every day. Because of that, certain things our families do with annoy one of us because we don't understand. So that being said, when I say I miss my "home" or family, Isaac likes to remind me that my home is here in Orlando with him and Aiden and that they are my family. Nothing could be more true, but my brothers and sisters still mean the world to me and even though I have my Own home and my Own family, anywhere there is family is home.
I am the oldest of 7 and my youngest sibling is 6...there is a huge gap in ages and I have missed a lot of their childhood. In addition to that, one of my brothers is in jail, so I haven't seen him since 2005 or 2006...Because there are so many of us and majority of the kids are in still in school (high school, middle school and elementary) and my dad works full-time, I don't see them that often and when I do, it is very rushed and chaotic... To this day, I can't think of a time that BOTH of my parents have come to visit me by themselves...without ANY of the kids. They usually come down separately because of schedules and what not.
As a teenager, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from my siblings...typical for a teenage girl who was tired of babysitting and seeing them get treated better than I did at that age, but now as an adult with a son of my own, I miss them more than ever. I have always been an emotional & nurturing person, I was always a second mother to them and now I can't believe how much they are growing up and how much I am missing it.
Isaac doesn't get it because when we do go visit them, they aren't even home half the time and when they are, it is almost pure chaos...but thats my family. We put the "fun" in dysfunctional and it is a beautiful disaster.
Jared and I were best buddies growing up, my mom and his dad met when I was 3 and he was 2.5...we were inseparable and had so much fun together...maybe not so much when we got to middle school & high school because we were both so different then, but we have been through so much together and it pains me that he took that path that he did and has missed so much. It pains me that he hasn't met his nephew and that he missed my wedding...but more than ever, it pains me that he doesn't have the confidence in himself that he should...
Joshua Franklin - Josh - was born when I was 7...I remember the night my mom came home from the hospital with him. My mom was on the couch and some ninja/dragon movie was on TV and I held him for the first time. I remember the time my parents were taking a nap leaving Jared and I with Josh...he desperately needed to be changed and so being the "big girl" that I was at the age of 7, decided to change it myself and my mom was so mad when she found that I had used almost the whole box of wipes to clean up his poop. I remember so many phases with Josh...Lion King, him peeing on my 6th grade crush at my birthday party just before I was about to pour my heart out to him, his humping phase (thank God that went away), his cussing phase, dropping him off at daycare and me being late to school because of it, when he became my mom's little "princess" and would spy on me and my friends, the "she's looking at me!" stage...So much about my first real LITTLE brother (I say real, because Jared is only 4 months younger than me...I didn't have that much authority over him). And now...he's 17 years old! He's out partying and doing the things I did in high school (I am cringing at the thought of it). He's "heftier", taller than me, getting into trouble, dating and looking at colleges (please go to UCF!). He's so much like me in so many ways and I wish I could be there for him through everything...
Nicholas George - Nick - was born with jaundice (as I was too) and was constantly under the sunlight when he came home. I remember my mom bringing him home, carrying him up the stairs and placing his carseat on the couch so that he could absorb the sun. Nick surprised us all when his little strands of strawberry blonde hair started popping up (we're all dirty blondes). When Josh was born, he looked a lot like my mom, and now Nick looked just like my dad. He had (and still has) these beautiful big brown eyes with long eyelashes. He instantly drew in everyone's attention because he was our little unique bundle of joy. While Josh went through a bratty stage and became very independent, Nick was always the lovey one. Nick was the affectionate one. He loved to give hugs and kisses. And I loved that...I loved taking care of him and reading him bedtime stories. Anytime I see the show Blues Clues or Big Comfy Couch, I think of Nick and his shy little smile. As he got older, he and Josh did start to scheme together and would constantly sneak out and crash my bondfire parties. Nick is now the tallest member of my family and is so skinny - well I guess I should say lean. Josh is shorter and heftier and Nick is tall and lean :) He's so quiet now when we're all together and I feel like I don't know him that well anymore...Josh will call me when he is upset or has a problem or even just to say hi...but Nick keeps to himself. I love him so much and miss him and miss being his big sissy that he would love on. I know he's a teenage boy, but I don't want to drift apart.
After living with 3 boys, I was beginning to think I would never get a sister and then finally Miss Olivia entered our world. Olivia was born during a rough year for me and for my family. Olivia was born in March 1998 and a couple of weeks before, I found out my cousins and uncle had died in a tornado here in Central Florida...At that same time, my family was preparing for a big move from Florida to Tennessee where my dad had purchased a dealership. Because of the move and my mom being so close to her due date, she went up to TN while I stayed in FL to attend the funeral . Because so much was going on that year of my life (I was in 6th grade moving to a new state where I knew nobody and had just lost one of my close cousins), I don't remember much about that first year of Olivia...However, one of my earliest memories of Miss O is when one of my friends and I had to watch her one afternoon. She wasn't a year old yet, but wasn't a newborn either...anyways, my friend Bridgett and I went to change her diaper and she was screaming bloody murder! I'll never forget her kicking her legs and screaming (making it sooooo difficult to change her) and me thinking to myself "OMG this little girl is such a brat!!!" Well Olivia held true to that for a while...I swear she should have been a Gemini because she is so much like me. One minute she's this sweet loving and caring angel and the next she's this demanding, bitchy diva. She's actually the one sibling that I want to hurry up and grow older so that I can relate to her more. She's 12 years old and I'm 24...When I hear her complaining about her friends or boys, my advice isn't the type she can easily understand or what she wants to hear. I know though that as she does get older, we will definitely get closer and I can't wait.
So you'd think my parents would stop at 5 kids...butttttt no. I remember when my mom told me she was pregnant and we got in a fight...I was entering my freshman year of high school and knew that it would now be spent with MORE babysitting! I mean for a teenage girl, freshman year is huge! She sat me down on my bed and talked to me about how we had to get through this together...Not things that a 15 year old girl wants to hear. I feel bad because all throughout the pregnancy, I was pretty bitchy to her...but again I was 15, life revolved around me obviously. When Michael (Jr.) was born, I wasn't exactly thrilled to meet the 4th boy that was going to "ruin my life". To this day, I regret my attitude because in the first picture of Michael and I together, I have this half ass smile like "great...another kid for ME to take care of". After he came home though, I felt like we had this instant connection. Michael went through a couple of respiratory issues and had to have nebulizer treatments constantly (had Aiden not had similar issues, I probably wouldn't have remembered the name of the "oxygen machine"). We immediately dubbed Michael "Mister". He had a body like a little man and as he got older, he acted like one. He was so cute...At the age of 10, we now call him our Teddy Bear. He's our stocky good ol' country boy.
As my high school graduation approached, my mind was focused on college and the car I would drive down to college... Being the owner of a dealership, my dad had promised me a new car (a brand of his dealership) as a graduation gift. One day I had to go get a CTScan done (can't remember why) and as I was talking to my mom about the type of car I wanted to get for graduation, she slyly says "well I can think of another gift you're gonna get and its not a car"...something about the way she said it made me immediately realize it wasn't a present I was asking for. After going through 4 pregnancies with my mom, this tone sounded all too familiar...I immediately started counting the months until my graduation and felt a knot tightening in my stomach once I realized that my graduation was exactly 9 months away... As the nurse called for me, I walked up like a zombie with my mom and then turned and blurted "OMG you're pregnant"...with a deer in headlights look, she stuttered "Ok good luck, I'll see you when you get out...". As soon as I walked out, I was afraid to hear what my mom had to say...and as I expected, she was pregnant. I don't remember what was said, but I remember yelling at her and storming off to my car crying and called my best friend and said "What is the worst thing that could happen???" Of course they thought I was about to say I was pregnant, but instead it was my mom. I was more upset because here I was about to be 18 and leave for college and instead of being sad about losing a child, she was just bringing another one in. One that I wouldn't have the opportunity to watch grow because I was moving to another state. Nathan's birth was different than the rest because this was the first time I was in the delivery room with my mom. She had asked me to be there and that meant a lot to me. I think that and the fact that I knew I didn't have much time with him, made me instantly attached to him. Nathan was and still is our little monkey. Nathan is now 6 and it is surreal to me...When I left, Nathan was a baby, so seeing how much he's grown up just amazes me, but saddens me at the same time because I missed so much.
I love all my brothers and my sister so much....they each have something different to bring to the table and I look forward to the days we get to spend more time together and talk more often. I truly miss my chaotic family every now and then because that is what I am USED to. My family may not be perfect, my family may give me and everyone else headaches, but I can deal with it because that's what I know. I love them all and miss them so much.
0 comments:
Post a Comment