"I'm in a glass box of emotion!!!"

Yes, Isaac and I were watching Anchor Man last night; however, it fits perfectly with how I'm feeling lately. My emotions are so up and down, I don't know what to think. I'm afraid to listen to certain songs or even allow myself to watch anything emotional because I will start crying!!! To go ahead and put the thoughts to rest, no I am not pregnant (I took a test because my emotions were freaking me out lol). All of the stresses I have going on are not really helping either.

My latest stress related breakout is due to my wedding venue...Unless this venue can pull some miracle out of her ass to make me happy, I will make sure all of Orlando or any bride looking at this venue, knows NOT to use her. While my invitations are printing, I figured I'd take some time to release some frustrations on here. I thought I had found a little piece of heaven when I discovered this venue...it was quaint, had certain features I was looking for, was a one stop shop and the price was a steal!!!

I paid in full (in order to get $1200 discounted off the total price) July 30 --- she then said she would get the contract to me the following day and would contact me that following Monday to schedule vendor appointments that Tuesday. That didn't happen. I did not hear from her for TWO WEEKS!!! And its not like I didn't try contacting her either....every email, voicemail and text went UNANSWERED!!!! She then claimed she had been very busy with out of town weddings (because she's not just the coordinator for her venue, but for other venues and destinations as well) and she apologized for not sending me her schedule....**Ok first of all 1) If you know you're going to be busy, DO NOT TELL ME that you are going to do something and then NOT DO IT! 2) YOU HAVE EMAIL ON YOUR PHONE!!! How hard is it to quickly respond to my FIRST Email AND my planners?!?!?! **

So finally we schedule and appointment and my planner joins us. While going over what I have selected for my package and what I haven't, it's like she forgot!?!?! So I asked her "the amount that I paid you reflects what I told you I was going to do last time right? Because this list is the old one" "Oh yeah I know, I have the old one on my laptop and just couldn't get in to it". *bullshit, but whatever, you're discounting my floral*.

Once again, I remind her that I still do not have the contract and would like her to send me the revised pricing/vendor sheet along with a picture of the floral arrangement she had in mind. This was last Thursday...come Monday her excuse was "I was working on that today, but was waiting to hear back from you regarding your appointment". **What the hell does that have to do with my contract, revised pricing list (THAT I'VE ALREADY PAID) and floral picture???**

Come Friday, I email her once again asking for my contract...keep in mind my planner has too, but this control freak refuses to let my planner help with any of the appointments. She seems to think she can handle it all. **I'm sorry, but not calling back or emailing one of your brides for TWO WEEKS is just a tad bit unprofessional to me and just screams you need help!!!** After telling my planner she didn't want to have to go through her, she has the audacity to say to me "Kayla, I sent it to your planner on Tuesday. I will resend when I get back in on Sunday" **BULLSHIT AGAIN!!! 1) Why would you send my contract to her and not me? If anything, send it to me and CC her 2) Unlike this crazy lady, my planner actually cares about my wedding and would have forwarded it to me immediately. 3) my planner checked her email 3x to make sure she was not missing anything. Nada**

So...not to be negative Nancy, but nothing with this whole wedding process has been fun. I picked my dream venue then had to move it because of budget...I couldn't find my dream dress (I'm actually trying to exchange it now), couldn't find the right color for the bridesmaids dresses, one of my best friends is not coming, and now this bullshit!!! WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE JUST GONE TO MEXICO????

On that note, my invitations are done printing and I need to get ready for church. The good Lord knows I need him right now!

Have a great day!

Catch Up

So I realize it has been quite some time since I last posted on here...I wasn't purposely trying to ignore you, ok I was actually. I have just had a LOT going on lately and when I would have the time to sit down and post, I realized that there wasn't a whole lot I wanted to share at the moment. To give you a quick briefing, here is what has happened since I've last blogged:

• The house has come along quite nicely and is actually starting to feel like our "home"
• There was a lot of drama with the wedding, so I ended up having to change the date and the venue, but now everything is ready to go (for the most part)
• I celebrated my 24th birthday
• Isaac started a new job with his previous company, so he is back in outside sales and loves it.
• We found a church here in Avalon that I like, but we really do need to go more often
• I started doing P90x, but haven't had a chance to workout in the past week since Isaac was out of town - it was a little hard to find the time without allowing Aiden to jump all over me while I was doing the workout.
• The biggest, most important thing that has happened over the past couple of months was Aiden turning TWO!

I can't believe our little man is already two years old. I'm sure most moms say this, but my kid is really smart! I can't believe it! Today as we were driving back from Monkey Joes, a motorcycle zoomed past the car and Aiden goes "ooh look motorcycle". The kid just turned two and he's already counting to 20 in English and Spanish! He just never ceases to amaze me. I truly believe that the MOST REWARDING job of all time is being a mother!!! Here are some pics from the past couple of months and his birthday:

At the Avalon Park Splash Pad

Happy Birthday Aiden!!!

Two of my bridesmaids and me on my 24th Birthday!

Aiden's First Visit to Monkey Joes

Opening some presents on his birthday

"Dear Genevieve...

I could really use your help!" If only I really could get HGTV's Dear Genevieve to come decorate my house! While we're there, why not throw in some "Curb Appeal" too.

So we've been homeowners for almost 5 months now and I still feel like we just moved in. We're adults with full-time jobs, a kid, a dog and now a mortgage...so it's a little understandable that we haven't had the time nor the money to really invest in the appeal of our home. But its starting to get to both Isaac and me. Our yard needs a major overhaul! And we need - desperately need - to decorate!!! We need to make our home a HOME! But where do we start??? We already wrote a list of things we want done to our home, in order of priority and how much they will cost, but it seems like everytime we save, something comes up. New tires, dental work, a wedding...etc...AND we still have to save up for our HONEYMOON!!! Ayi yi yi - when does the madness end!!!

MY wishlist for our house (in no particular order):

• GRASS in our yard - actual grass that is worth buying a lawn mower for
• A fence
• DECOR!!! Well we have some decor but it is not up because we have to fix some spots on the walls - and I need to repaint
• A new bedroom set - Ikea has worked for us, but it's time for us to upgrade
• Decide whether or not our "Spare Room" is going to be an office with a futon or a guest room - and then decorate it as such
• A Dining Set - we have the dining ROOM - my perfect RED dining room, but it is being used as extra storage space :(
• Organize the garage so one of us can actually park in there
• DECOR!!! Again - I emphasize the decor part

Planning a wedding, trying to save for a honeymoon, starting a new job (starting my CAREER), and trying to be a good homeowner all while being the best mom I can be to a toddler who loves to say "NO" is not an easy task...

Thank God it is Friday - Momma is ready for a margarita!

A Working Mom

In my quest to find the secret to being a working mother and how to balance work, the house and of course motherhood, I found this article and thought I would share:

Pssst, Here's Some Dirt About Squeaky Clean Working Moms

by Lori A. Cascone

My friend subscribes to an e-mail discussion list for working moms, and she passed along a series of messages based on a rather passionate discussion. I thought it my duty as a writer with a sarcastic edge to spew some verbiage about the discussion, being I deem the subject matter right up there with abortion rights and equal pay for women.

Let me preface this with the fact that I'm only one-half of the working mom role. I'm the working part, not the mom just yet. Thus, I thought she sent me the e-mail because it was an interesting thread about marital stress. Or perhaps a list member admitted she was having a steamy affair in the office. Hmm. I was intrigued.

But these working moms weren't all a-flutter about the libido-enhancing herbs. They were engrossed in none other than a lively, impassioned discussion about the methodical finesse of cleaning. That's right. As in scrubbing toilet bowls, scouring refrigerators, wiping bathtubs, and mopping kitchen floors. Now, not only was I intrigued — I was also shocked.

I Worship Thee!
Please don't hurl tomatoes at your computer screen, but I must admit I've formed the habit of stereotyping working moms as cleaning klutzes. In a word: unclean. Not on themselves, but rather, in their homes. And the reason is because (get ready for a compliment) I can't fathom how a working mom has time to cook dinner for her family, let alone scrub shower stall tiles, when she only walks in the door after 6 p.m. every evening.

Then, of course, there's the inevitable fact that she awakens several times a night to breastfeed, burp, and diaper change. Not to mention that she rises and shines before the birds to get herself ready for another hectic day before awakening her brood and getting them ready for their day. I'm exhausted just reading that. And to think — she still carries the weight of eliminating dust balls? Go figure.

In a nutshell, here's what I surmised from this e-mail discussion: Working mothers really are superwomen. In the midst of all the muss and fuss that goes along with any given day, they're actually deeply concerned about keeping their homes in tip-top shape.

Like the pop song "I'm Every Woman," they really are every kind of woman (am I getting corny yet?).

They're modern, yet mindful of the "good old" traditional values of a warm, clean, welcoming haven for their spouses and kids — so important in this day and age when the home is considered a mere way station sandwiched between school, sports, and sleepovers.

They're multitasking geniuses, capable of perfecting their many roles with a keen sense of time management (and a sense of humor).

They're smart, but modest — these women trolled the Web and hoofed it to libraries in their quest to find the best sources for achieving the stature of "domestic deity."

And they didn't brag about it either — though they were probably on the Web at 2 a.m. while rocking their baby back to sleep or in the library zipping around the aisles while they waited for their 10-year-old's karate class to end.

But enough of the admiration. I figure all the information I extracted from those e-mail messages may have an impact on working moms everywhere. I'll share the wealth, and perhaps one day refer to this article if ever I become engrossed in maternal madness and start to panic over how to — gasp — fit a proper cleaning method in my own chaotic home. Either that or I'll simply rely on what popped into my mind the first time I read the threaded discussion: 1-800-HOUSEKEEPER.

Quotes From Panic-Stricken Moms
(Names have been omitted out of respect for the moms' privacy — no one wants their mother-in-law knowing these blunders.)

• "It took me an hour to clean a bathroom, and I have three! First, I started wiping the sink, only to figure out I had to clear it off first. I went on to scrubbing the toilet, but oops! I had to rinse the brush in the sink, and then realized I had to clean it all over again!"
  
  
• "This is my daughter's last week at childcare, and then she nervously starts her pre-K class. Me? I just hope I can figure out whether I'm supposed to vacuum or dust-mop the wood floors!"
  
  
• "I never can keep it straight what has to be done first, and almost inevitably, I have to redo something."
  
  
• "I've recently subscribed to four cleaning lists to help me in my confused and domestically challenged life."
  
  
• (in response to that last quote): "I think that borders on masochism!"

Recommended Reads

• "Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House," by Cheryl Mendelson Says one working mom: "This explains how, why, and when to clean things and take care of your home, in general. I really like the book and refer to it at least once a month." (If you'd like to buy it online, check out Amazon.com.)
  
  
• "Speed Cleaning," by Jeff Campbell The same mom says this tome gives the nitty-gritty about how to clean as efficiently as possible — the author even assigns roles if there are two or more cleaning mavens in the house. (If you'd like to buy it online, check out Amazon.com.)

Pink Eye

What girl doesn't like the color pink? I like pink frills, pink clothes, pink flowers, but not pink eye. Pink eye is not flattering, it doesn't feel good and it just plain sucks. At least now I know what my terminator eye is and now I am home from work. I'm kinda bummed I couldn't go back to work because I need to solicit more, but I'm kind of glad I can come home and just relax.

Now what to do? It is VERY rare I have the house to myself...really the only time I do is when Aiden is asleep and Isaac isn't home, but even then I have to be quiet or am rushed to get everything done before he wakes up. Part of me just wants to lay on the couch and part of me wants to clean up. I probably should lysol the whole house though... I guess I can sit tight until my prescription is ready.

Aiden had to be picked up from daycare yesterday because he was having bad diarreah, but no fever. Since he can't go back until it has been 24 hours since his last BM, I am just sitting at home with him. Although I hate missing work, it is nice to just relax this morning and hang out with my little man, especially since I won't see him much this weekend. He's so cute...just sitting on the floor watching TV letting mommy drink her coffee :)

So while I'm sitting here, of course I am playing on facebook. I mean it is too early to even open my work email and I'm not awake enough to do anything around the house. So back to facebook...the good old world of facebook. It's the one way you can check up on people that you really aren't friends with but once were. I'll come right out and say it, I had a friend in my life that was my best friend and is no longer in my life and I hate it. I hate what happened to us and I hate that even after I tried to reconcile, she had already shut that door and moved on. The only thing I can see on facebook (since we aren't friends on facebook) are her pictures...and from her profile picture, it almost looks like she has an engagement ring. If she does, I couldn't be happier for her! At the same time, saddened even more because I can't tell her that. What happened with us hurt, she hurt me...and the way I acted at the time because of what I was going through hurt her as well. But for 3 years she was my best friend and the person who knew everything about me. It sucks that the things we used to talk about happened are now happening and we can't talk to each other about it. It was like going through a bad break up, except we were best friends and then just stopped. It's been almost 2 years since we last talked... Even though I still can't understand what happened and it angers me, I would much rather move on and have my best friend back.

M.I.A

So I realize I've been a little MIA with the blog, but I've had a LOT going on. I have now been with the Sonesta for a month, my routine has changed (or become non-existent I should say) and Aiden has developed a new vocabulary.

The new job is great, but it definitely comes with its downfalls. There are people who are in "sales" but don't really have to sell. People come to them looking to buy a product (so there really isn't much skill needed) or people just manage accounts and sell to an already existing clientele - again not much needed there other than product knowledge. What I have to do complete cold calls - go out there and search for a contact, then pray for a lead, then even better a contract! So it's been fun and exciting to start establishing those contacts and build those relationships, but it's also been quite the hunt. Because the schedule is also a little stricter - at least in the mornings, I have not been able to make it to the gym in the mornings and I'm too tired at night...in addition to that, I have to come home and cook, so I can't really go right after work. I'm trying to create a new routine though and work something out with Isaac so that I can feel a little less stressed. And working out helps :)

Aiden is growing right before our eyes...he's becoming so independent now. And stubborn lol, but I guess that was expected being that he is the product of Isaac and me. His newest favorite word is "NO" and he has learned what a temper tantrum is. He's quite good at it too, very dramatic.

Oh yeah, we also got our engagement pictures taken!!! They came out so great and I can't wait to see the rest of them! Now I just have to find the right save the dates and get them sent out. Ayi yi yi...so much to do and so little time! So there's my update in a shell: busy and stressed!

New Beginnings

This week was my first week at my new job. At first I was nervous...well I'm still a little nervous, but I am loving it. I love the thrill and the challenge - especially in the position I am in with a new property and introducing it to old and new clients. This week has FLOWN by because I have been so busy. So far all my coworkers are great and we're all getting along fabulously, so I hope it stays that way lol!

Aiden had his first professional haircut recently and since then he has walked around with a whole new attitude. He is definitely growing into that "Terrible Toddler" stage. He is becoming more aggressive with his friends at daycare and with mommy & daddy... and so begins the discipline... At the same time, he is becoming more affectionate. He reminds of those Sour Patch Kids commercials "One minute they're sour, the next they're sweet".

My mom came down last week for her Spring Break and it was great to see her. I felt bad because I was a little hard on her for some things, but I can get stressed easily. She remembers me being this carefree spirit when I lived at home and while I was in college, and now, well I'm stressed! I mean not all the time, but I feel like I have to stay on top of things, like I'm the only one to keep some order or control in the house or in my life at times.... but anyways, we got to do a little shopping and I showed her the venue and we bought my dress! Since then she has been very into the wedding planning lol...that makes one of us :)

Big Things Happening!

Starting on Monday, March 15, 2010, I will be joining the Sales Team at the new Sonesta Hotel Downtown Orlando as a SALES MANAGER!!! That's right, I put in my two weeks yesterday...no more being the office bitch, no more KITCHEN DUTY, no more "can you fax this for me, I don't know how it works" and no more being BROKE!!! WOOHOO!!! It was really hard to put my notice in yesterday because my current company tried really hard to keep me and did a great job of giving me the guilt trip, but they were very nice about it. To top of my skyrocketing ego, I received an email from Sprint today regarding a position that I had interview for a couple of months ago inviting me to "take the only employment application to move forward". Talk about timing huh? Change is scary, but I couldn't be more excited to finally start my career doing what I love!

Sisters

It all started this morning when I saw on Facebook that one of my best friends is pregnant with her second child. Seeing this ignited two thoughts: 1) WHY IS EVERYONE I KNOW GETTING PREGNANT!!! 2) I miss my best girlfriends :(

As I was driving to work, I started thinking about my last year in Tullahoma with them. Bridgett got married and Mallory was pregnant...my next thought jumped to a picture I knew I had taken of Danielle, Mallory, Leah and me by Danielle's pool when Mallory was pregnant - and I knew I wanted to find that picture. During some slow time at work I decided to find that picture. In high school I had created a "webshots" account and stored my pictures on there. I haven't used this account in YEARS so I was surprised to remember my username and password. Not only did finding these make me miss my besties, but they definitely make me want to take the exercising up a few 100 notches!!! I was so skinny!!! Anywho, these girls have and will always be my sisters. We may not talk as often as we like and we certainly don't see each other enough, but I thank God that they are a part of my life.

Being a Clock Watcher

5:02...28 more minutes. This week has draaaaaaged by and I couldn't be happier for it to be over! I figured I would kill some time by posting a blog with some random thoughts.

- I started reading Twilight this week and I am so anxious to continue reading everytime I have to put it down, so I am looking forward to that this weekend :) I have seen the movie and am so obsessed and knowing that the books only give me more information, I couldn't resist. I think I'm also obessed because Edward Cullen's character is very similar to Isaac - minus the Vampire part :D

- Some big changes could take place for my career soon. Part of me really doesn't want to get my hopes up, but at the same time, I'm so ready for the change! I just need to keep telling myself to just be patient and let things fall where they may. I really hope they do because I am growing very tired of dealing with the crap that I deal with currently. Blah.

- For Lent, I decided to give up "negativitity". Some of you might be laughing....but that doesn't mean I can't be sarcastic and it doesn't mean I have to be fake to people, just nicer :)

- I got my new Palm Pixi this week and I loooove it!!! I really didn't think I would, so I am very relieved that it is so user friendly!

- Aiden has another molar growing in! I can't believe how many teeth are just popping in!!! He went from being my sweet wittle bundle of baby sounds who couldn't escape my arms, to this hyper, vampirish ball of energy with his own mind!!! He is just growing up too fast! A lot of people I went to high school with are now either pregnant or having babies and I can't help but get baby fever...BUT then I am literally smacked with reality, my own little bundle of joy is enough for me right now and I am perfectly content to keep it that way for a while ;)

That brings me to my next thought...unlike most people, in 9 months we will not be welcoming a child, we will be getting MARRIED!!! At the same time my emotions are met with elation, they are then drowned in anxiety - I JUST booked the location and I still do not have a dress. It didn't help that when I called a dress store to make an appointment and she asked for my date, she responded "Oh boy, we do need to get you a dress then!" Yes, thank you I was not aware that I should have a dress by now *sarcasm*. I am just a HUUUUGE procrastinator AND I was waiting to book my venue before doing anything else!

(I am also good at justifying everything)

It took me so long to book my venue, because I thought another venue was going to hook it up and after waiting for an unprofessionally long response from the venue, I missed the chance to book other venues. Luckily, on the day that I desperately reached out to a caterer for alternate dates, she told me that one of my top choices had just opened up that morning for my date! So now that I have my venue, I can continue, or start I should say, the wedding planning...

...I am now breathing into a paper bag...

Happy Hump Day!

After going two weeks with only one trip to the fitness center, I am finally getting back into my routine. It is still tough getting up at 5 am though!!! I was so relieved that nobody else was there this morning so that I could do my thing :) Unfortunately I did not have any coffee creamer so I still have not had my morning coffee :( At least it is Wednesday and the weekend is almost here! I am really hoping we can find a sitter so that we can do our Valentine's Dinner since we couldn't go this past weekend.

On a different note, today is also Ash Wednesday. Although I no longer practice the Catholic religion, I can't help but feel like I should still participate in some of the traditions. That being said, I would like to give up or do something for Lent, but am not sure. I am already working on the whole "being healthy" deal and I don't drink enough sodas or alcohol for it to really matter; basically I don't really have anything "bad" in my life that I need to give up. I guess I should be thankful for that :) If I were to try to do anything in 40 days to better my life, maybe I should start with 1) finding a good Christian church near us (might go back to the one we went to before moving to Lake Mary) 2) being more positive and not so negative towards people I don't like.

"You looked like the type of person who'd want to blog about your ideas and opinions..."

Well...actually I'm not, but for some reason I decided to create a blog. At first I was hesitant because I already have a facebook and that is one way to stay connected with friends and family, but then I realized that I don't necessarily want to share my precious family memories and thoughts with everyone on my facebook...enter: Blogspot.

Isaac and I have come a long way in our relationship and could not be happier with the little family we have created! Like most couples and families, it is like a rollercoaster....So sit tight because it's going to be an adventure!

This blog will mostly be narrated by me, Kayla, but being the very opinionated guy Isaac is he might drop a line now and then :)